The times have changed a lot for women in the past 60 years, and while this is incredible, it can also be frustrating and sometimes confusing. Modern, single, straight women, regardless of what age they are, need to feel comfortable with themselves and have a good understanding of men. They also need to be more aggressive that ladies of the past and willing to put themselves out there!!
There are hundreds of sources of dating and relationship advice available, but honestly, what people want in a relationship differs from person-to-person. It can even change over time in the same person. This depends on their age and experience, as well as life history. Every woman has to make their own decisions when it comes to dating, relationships and love, but here are some great tips to help you land the right guy for you.
Master your dating life by putting yourself out there!
It doesn’t matter how hard you wish, there is very little chance that a smart, sensitive, attractive single man with a decent career and all the other things you want is going to randomly show up at your door to sweep you off your feet. You need to take the time and effort to meeting single people who match your interests. Go out more frequently and try to go to events with a high amount of single, attractive men. Even easier, take advantage of online dating. There is no negative stigma to online dating these days, and realistically you can’t expect to find happiness without looking for it!
It probably won’t happen all at once.
You can’t expect to meet the person to spend the rest of your life with, in the first few days you start looking; things like this take time! In order to find the right person for you, play the numbers. Meet lots of people and get to know them. Chances are you will meet lot of guys that aren’t right for you, for one reason or the other. Don’t be disappointed in yourself, as this is absolutely normal. This is not a failure on your part. Consider it a weeding-out process; each man you meet who is not the right one, will bring you closer to finding your dream man. You’ll make mistakes, run into false starts and yes, from time to time you’ll exercise bad judgement. Don’t be too discouraged when things like this happen. Learn from your errors, and roll with the punches; consider changing some tactics. And above all, don’t give up!!
Re-evaluate what you need from time to time
The things you want in a relationship when you’re a teenager, are probably different than what you want in your 20’s, 30’s or later. If you don’t think carefully about the things that you are looking for, and what is really important to you, you may not see the right guy when you do meet him. Do you really want the moody, bad-boy? Exciting yes; relationship material, definitely not. Even if you’re attracted to this type, is this really what you need at this stage in your life? Is there really any possibility of a future with this guy? Are you looking for a bit of fun while you consider what you want in the longer term, or are you ready for something more permanent and stable?
Make the most of your best traits
Not all women are confident and happy with the way they look. Most men know that most women are not perfect and don’t expect their partners to look like super-models or TV stars. Men have a surprising degree of variety in what physical attributes they find attractive (and not the obvious ones that pop into your head). You might not be perfect, but I’m sure you do know that certain parts of you are amazing. Perhaps its your eyes, or your legs or your hair. It might be your lips, your breasts or even your laugh. Try to accentuate your best features, and get people to focus their attention on the good parts.
While you surely have your strong points, you should still do some basic ‘maintenance’ and try to improve the parts you’re not satisfied with and you’re overall appearance. Join a gym and get regular exercise a few times a week. Bathe every day, and practice good personal hygiene. You should consider playing the numbers when it comes to some things; there are men who like hairy legs and natural body odor, but there are many more who prefer smooth, shaved legs (and other things), and girls that smell of bottled scent. Find a couple of friends who are honest and critical, and will tell you if your outfit isn’t fetching or if you’re wearing too much perfume. Supportive friends are generally awesome but sometimes you need someone to tell you the hard truth…
Don’t be afraid to make the first move
While it’s not always easy, if you want to find the right man, you should really consider making the first move, if this is not something you normally do. Its not like you should sprint across the room and launch yourself at the first attractive man you see, but at the very least, provide him with an opening. Stand somewhere near him. Make an innocent opening remark. It doesn’t have to be anything witty, naughty or over the top. ‘Can you please pass me a napkin (or any other nearby item)’ or ‘what does it take to get a drink around here?’. If he’s at all interested, he’ll make the most of this kind of opportunity. If he doesn’t try, you’ve lost nothing and, at least you gave it a shot!
If you’re feeling bold and it doesn’t bother you to be a bit more obvious, just walk up and say ‘hi’. Introduce yourself, chat a little, then tell him how nice it was to meet him and go back to your chair. If he’s interested, then he’ll make the next move!
When you meet people, you may be tempted to change your personality or pretend to be someone else, in order to keep the interest of a guy. Please don’t do this. Always be who you really are, otherwise any relationship that does develop will be based on lies… everyone works a little harder at the beginning of a relationship, and that’s fine, but don’t be a totally different person. Don’t compromise yourself or what you believe in, in an attempt to find someone. The right person will fall for you, for the person you are.
Be patient, be yourself, and you’ll find the one sooner than you think. In the meantime, have fun and be safe.